my brain at 3am: it’s okay if i’m lost. but it’s not okay if you’re lost.



i’m alright with being lost, on my own. although it’s not ideal. nowadays i feel so confused with where i’m heading, especially after meeting a financial adviser and have them draw a timeline of my pretend future: marriage, house, kids, their education, your retirement, and death. is that all i have to look forward to? it seemed so much more when i was fifteen.

but, somehow, that’s still alright. somehow, i feel like there will be moments in that timeline that are alright. i can make it alright somehow.

but to think that someone else out there – probably many – have that same timeline. that we are all leading this predictable, materialistic life, of ikea furniture, and fighting for the best schools – when it all just doesn’t matter when that ultimate conclusion of your life catches up with you – that’s not alright to me.

how many times has a financial adviser told their client that this is their life? and how many times has such a person just smiled and been satisfied with that? it scares me ..

somewhere out there, i imagine someone not being okay with that. i imagine someone staring at that sheet of paper, sitting at that contrived seat in Starbucks, or McDonalds, or somewhere equally capitalistic and just going, “No.” i imagine them reaching this revelation that this is not what they want, grabbing the pen out of that man’s hands and going, “No! No! That’s not how it’s going to go! I don’t want to get married! I don’t want to have children! Those aren’t my priorities. I don’t care about all this monetary bullshit. No, not a house. I don’t care. I just want to travel, I want to experience life, I don’t care if I live paycheck by paycheck. I’m not selfish enough to save all that money to the end. I want to experience life now.”

but the scary thing to me is that we aren’t like that in society – not anymore. we’re living a pretend life with pretend happiness. we’re passive. we pretend that we’re proactive but we are not living lives that different from the person next to us on the bus. it’s the same difference.

i’m okay that i’m there at the moment, at this blueprint of society … but i’m somehow not okay that other people are.

and once again, this is the hypocrite in me.

– cumuloquoise ❤

Photo credits:  {theuncommonplace}


The Best and Worst of RedditAsk

1 silver lining - monday

Sometimes when I’m bored, I go on RedditAsk to see what people have to answer to some of the questions out there. Sometimes the questions are weird or amusing and sometimes the people who answer are either complete trolls or just hilarious undercover comedians. Here are ten questions and their top answers to make the start of your week a little more bearable.

1. Amnesia Fail 


2. Pick Up Line Plot Twist 

best way to start a convo

3. Cat Teeth vs. Human Teeth

cat teeth vs human teeth

4. Coma

coma answer

5. Double Standards

double standards

6. The Decision or the Speed?

fastest regret

7. Enter With a Bang

golden ticket

8. Reddit After Hours

knees bent the other way

9. Magicians of Reddit

magician reveal

10. Hate

something you hate


So which one’s your favourite? Let me know in the comments below.

Till next time!

cumuloq ❤

Weekly Update: Ariana Grande, Cloudberry Kingdom and Divergent

7 the rest - sunday

Hey guys!

So this week has been crazy, with a bit too many responsibilities for my liking. And I know the next few weeks that follow will not be any different.

And I’m not sure if you noticed, but I haven’t been posting that regularly lately. Part of it has to do with my own laziness, but the other part of it has to do with the intense amount of lag I somehow get whenever I get on WordPress. I’m not sure if you’ve been experiencing the same on your end, but it is putting me off blogging for the past few days. Sometimes when my entire browser just freezes (I just killed a mosquito), I just don’t want to return to it for a very long time. And I know that’s not fair to those who follow and expect some frequent material.

But for now, I’m just going to put all of that aside and show you guys my (last week’s) weekly favourites.

1. Song of the Week: Ariana Grande – Almost Is Never Enough ft. Nathan Sykes

I went to watch Mortal Instruments: City of Bones recently and was kinda disappointed I didn’t see this song in the movie itself. I’ve been keeping an eye on Ariana Grande’s music recently, ’cause I really believe she has a lot of potential. If there were two amazing singers that came from the child-manufactured world of Hollywood, it’s got to be Demi Lovato and Ariana Grande. Plus, she’s too pretty.

2. Youtube Video of the Week: Let’s Play – Cloudberry Kingdom Part 1

This LP made me laughing to myself like crazy, till my dad had to ask why I was laughing at my computer. I think it’s one of the most edge-of-my-seat LPs I’ve watched in a while. (And I watch a lot of LPs). There’s something about the side-scroll platform games and a group of hilarious guys playing it that make this one so special.

3. Trailer of the Week: Divergent

The trailer just came out during the VMAs so this is a fresh one, and it does look good. Summit has made its mistakes *cough* Twilight *cough* so I hope that Divergent ends up making up for it. Frankly, I’m a sucker for any dystopian teen movie. They’re my junk food in movie form.

So till next time!

cumuloq ❤

Poem: what i bought today

6 inklings - saturday

glee is plasticine
it is careless confusion
tussled in sweaty palms
neon sticks
made in thailand and distributed in australia

it is kid and adult costumes
in the aisle of a store
fairy princesses and fairy godmothers
rubbing shoulders and plastic wings

glee costs six ninety-five
and is not suitable for children under three years of age

4 of My Favourite Dance Videos on Youtube

5 tgfyv - friday

Yay, the weekend is on the horizon! Thank goodness, ’cause I’m pretty much done feeling like a grown-up and having grown-up conversations and making grown-up decisions about work and money and finance and future plans and stuff. Decisions hurt my head.

So TGFYV! And today’s nothing anything really – what the heck are those three words doing together – special. So I thought I’d just randomly share some of my favourite dance videos that can be found on Youtube! 😀

1. Zendaya and Val doing the Argentina Tango on Dancing With the Stars

I don’t know why, but last night I just got hooked on watching all of Zendaya and Val’s routines on Dancing With the Stars Season 16. And no I did not watch it all the way till 6am in the morning. Okay, that’s a lie.

2. Chloe and Maddie’s Duet of Inside of Me

I’ve been addicted to watching Dance Moms – maybe less so for the mummy drama and more for the dances that they show at the end of the episodes. My favourite dancer has to be Maddie, ’cause sometimes you can’t separate the mother from the daughter but in the case of Maddie you can see that she dances because she loves to dance. Also, I know it’s pathetic, but I’m jealous of the amount of talent these little kids have. I said it.

3. Melanie and Marko’s Lyrical Hip-Hop Routine 

This has definitely got to be one of my favourite duets from So You Think You Can Dance. Partially cause of how amazing this couple were on the show together, and the concept of the dance – and the choreography. If there is one dance I usually show my friends, it is this one.

4. Eric Luna and Georgia Ambarian’s Pirates of the Caribbean Routine 

If there was one stunning routine by professionals that just takes my breath away and shows me the amazing standard dance can be at, it is this one. There is just something about the couple’s strength, flexibility and elegance that just makes me get goosebumps all over. And if there was any video I’d suggest readers to watch, it would be this.

So I hope you enjoy this post, if dance is your thing. I tried to put in a range of stuff, although I do prefer my contemporary pieces.

And enjoy your weekends! Till next time!

cumuloq ❤

Playlist for the Broken-Hearted Musical Lover

4 my soundtracks - thursday

Sitting in the grand theatre, staring down at the stage where a small spot of a young teenage girl is pouring her heart out in song  – you can’t help but feel chills down your spine and goosebumps up your arm. There is nothing more dramatic and heart-wrenching than a beautiful solo from the stage of Broadway. So for those suffering from a broken heart, unrequited love, or just looking to hear a tragic melody these songs are definitely a quick fix.


‘Cause face it, you die a little like Eponine, Kim or Elphaba when you’re placed in a world where your good is not good enough and all you feel like doing is breaking out in song (and yet you never have the range or tone to achieve it).

1. On My Own – Les Miserables
2. I’m Not That Girl – Wicked
3. Now That I’ve Seen Her – Miss Saigon
4. If I Can’t Love Her – Beauty and the Beast
5. You Must Love Me – Evita
6. Out Here on My Own – Fame
7. The Coolest Girl – A Very Potter Sequel
8. The Way I Do – Starship

Or, alternatively, I guess a movie musical marathon would be just as amazing for an emotional break-up day or PMS day – what have you. Ice-cream and chips included. Or, you can cry due to the fact that your favourite musicals aren’t made into movies yet. Or, you could cry out in the comment section that I haven’t chosen your favourite musical break-up/unrequited love song – at which I would like to apologise ’cause my Broadway vocabulary isn’t as amazing as I wish it could be.

So till next time!

cumuloq ❤

my brain at 3am: awkward

this one was written less at 3am in the morning, and more like in the waiting room of a medical centre. but the thoughts fit better with this series of posts. and it technically is closing in to 3am here. so here it is.


i am this awkward thing – this awkward thing that hovers. this thing that stares at the girl across from her, in all her prim and proper beauty and wonders why she can’t just be one of them. instead, i am this thing who stares at the other people, at a guy who sits in this room, and believes that he is thinking of that girl and would never even take a glance at me. and if he does somehow, randomly, think of my presence, he probably is wondering why she sits so awkwardly, why her shoulders are like that, or her arms like that, or her expression so unappealing and half-hearted. and this self-consciousness ruins any potential form of mystique to my presence in the room …

i am this awkward grasper of the world. i see all the people who seem to know where they’re heading, seem to be so easily resigned to the corporate world and their place in the machine of society – even those who rebel against it seem to find their place. but i hover. i question too much. “why all this time spent on something i don’t care for?”, “why all these hours spent when i can spend it on living” – but i don’t really live. i hover in a solitary room most of the time. this self-awareness of the hypocrite i am becomes this bitter taste in my mouth.

what am i except this awkward thing.

cumuloq ❤

Photo Credits go to Tamara Lichenstein on Flickr