The Thing I Don’t Like About the 20-something Lists

1 silver lining - monday

Maybe you’ve seen your friends post this before, another list on the things you should do while you are 20-something or a list of everything a 20-something-year-old needs to do before it’s too late. See, the thing about those lists is that I really don’t believe in them.

I don’t believe that they should be a rule of thumb on how you should live your life. To me, there’s something really hypocritical about those lists. They advocate and promote a tone of freedom, of self-discovery and being able to accomplish everything you want in life. And sure, someone who blindly wants to accomplish everything that other people want to accomplish may look to those lists and think they’re something of a guide from an experienced person who has lived all those moments when they’re 20-something. But the truth is, you’re not going to die and you’re not a loser who hasn’t experienced anything if you haven’t completed those lists either. You shouldn’t let those lists belittle you to thinking that you’re not living your life to the full, ’cause frankly, it’s just numbers and tasks that really don’t limit your experience of the life you’re living.

Take for example:

2. Love as recklessly as you can. Let yourself have that relationship that suffocates you with emotion every day, where the highs are inexplicably stratospheric and the lows are explosions and screams and hot tears. Go there with someone, be your best, most joyful and your worst, most vindictive self with them–love wildly, because one day you’ll be too weary or too rational for that. – Kat George

No, thank you, George. Love is not something that should be done “recklessly” – or at least something I don’t want to do “recklessly”. The only thing that will amount from experiencing this in your 20s (worst still with someone you just don’t care about) is tonnes of trust issues, broken hearts and emotional scars. And it kind of scares me who out there might look at such a list and say to themselves, “Goddammit I need to just throw my love around first and experiment! Then I’ll find the love of my life!” ‘Cause frankly, if anything, loving recklessly only makes it that much harder to love at all.

Another example:

6. Approach someone at a bar who seems cute and cool, and without even thinking about it, just start up a conversation with them. Remind yourself that you don’t even know this person, and even if they don’t like you back, it will have no bearing on your life. – Sophie Martin

Now, come on, these just aren’t salient ideas. I don’t like the idea of going to the bar to begin with. Some people are just not “bar” people or just not the alcoholic drinking kind. This doesn’t mean that they’re missing out on life, it’s their own life choice. Furthermore, approaching random strangers at bars just doesn’t sound like the kind of advice you should be giving out to people who are bored or confused with their age and wanting to experience life. Sure, you never know when you’ll meet someone with an interesting life story, but also you’ll never know when you’ll meet someone with an “interesting” life story too – you catch my drift.

So, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t really think too much of these ridiculous lists. Not every experience can be generalised to the entire (often female) population. And everything you might find worth your time may be completely different to other people. So if you really do need a list of things to do in your 20s, ask the person who matters: you.

Stop listening to other women tell you how to live your life and start paying attention to what your heart and brain are telling you about how you want to live your own life. Make a list that you feel is relevant to yourself and don’t fulfill all of it. ‘Cause frankly, nobody has time for all that. And that’s okay.

Till next time,

cumuloq ❤

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