30DPC Day 14: Nobody can judge you …

14. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

This one is a tough one for me, because I am honestly incredibly inhibited by the judgements of others. I think I don’t do a lot of things because I’m scared of what others might think of me, or whether the consequences may influence my future outcomes.

Simultaneously, I don’t really want to give up this fear because I think it’s good for me, because it also prevents me from being rude either, or discarding other people’s feelings, because I think that if I never did get judged I would probably say things that may come off as incredibly sarcastic – because my speech has the tendency to lean towards that. Blame television and books for that influence.

I guess that I would probably be more willing to give ideas and suggestions if I knew no one would judge me. I’m generally a creative person and I have some pretty far out – verging on mad – ideas sometimes, whether it be small group discussions or project groups. I’m always scared that people may think that my ideas are a bit strange.

Like during this holiday, I decided to throw caution to the wind and told my friends that I wanted to do a scent experiment – because it is said that memories can be strongly connected to scents so I wanted to get a scent at the airport so that we could recall the memory of the trip. I got some funny glances and remarks at first, but I was so relieved and excited when they got into the idea.

If I could do things without being judged, I would do those kinds of things.

I would possibly also just write instead of get into the entire “you must get a proper profession when you graduate with a reliable income” – or maybe not because I would be too scared. Or maybe be generally more expressive in public. Or maybe answer this question more truthfully.

Because honestly judgement really does change my responses and behaviour. I become a whole lot more politically correct. And sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Really. ‘Cause I feel so generic sometimes once I go into that default mode. Like my responses are the same as others – I guess that’s why judgement is a huge driving force in dystopian novels. And why teenagers are usually the ones who are the saviours. Because they lack that fear of being judged.

Till next time,

cumuloq ❤

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