16. What’s more important to a relationship: common values or other commonalities (like tastes in music, interests, etc.)?
So, I’ve been in my current relationship for more than five years now. And I feel incredibly fortunate that we share both common values and some common tastes. But, personally if it ever came down to things, I think that I would much prefer a relationship in which we share common values rather than common interests.
Why do I say this? Well, I think it is alright if we don’t always share the same tastes in movies or the same taste in music or the same taste in food. That really doesn’t worry me so long as we can respect the fact that we do enjoy different things are capable of living with each other’s different hobbies.
But I think it is a huge relationship breaker if the two of us did not have common values in life, like how a person should be respected and treated, what we appreciate the most out of life, and what we believe love, relationships, family and work should be like. I believe these values will become even more apparent when talks develop into how we should live together or how we should have children and raise them.
I believe that couples can actually benefit from having different interests because you learn new things and find new interests. One exceptional benefit is that if you don’t have the same tastes in food, then if there are things on your plate that you don’t like, they can eat it, and vice versa. There is a complement there. But differing values is quite difficult, especially with incompatible religious beliefs and philosophical beliefs.
So, this one is quite straightforward for me. Common values is definitely a priority. Go check out Rhey of Sunshine’s response (or cheer her on, ’cause she’s quite behind at the moment), and I’ll catch you tomorrow.
Till next time,