it was about wanting to try every instrument, every sport, every hobby or pastime and then quitting it a month later ’cause you lose interest in it. i remember trying piano lessons, taekwondo, violin, ballet, speech and drama, chess club, gymnastics and tap dance. i remember wanting to try things like the flute, archery and horse riding.
it was about getting giggly over the most smallest, naughtiest little things. like a small action where you clap your hands and pull up your right hand which was meant to substitute the words ‘shut up’ but i showed it to one of my friends wrong in year two (second grade) and all my friends went ‘ooooohh, she said a bad word!’ and wanted to report me to the teacher. and replacing bad words with things like ‘sugar honey ice and tea’ and saying it to everyone and laughing about it. or hearing things wrong and laughing about it ’cause we thought it was so clever and getting scolded by our elders.
it was about being excited about christmas morning. ’cause santa brought us presents and our parents gave us presents. and getting legitimately upset at santa for getting our wishes wrong. like i wanted a cabbage patch kid but he got me a stupid make faces doll that i later drew on with highlighter for its lipstick and eyeshadow and it looked so bad. but it was about writing and mailing letters to the north pole. and having a reindeer bite into mine. and bragging to my friends that my dad knew santa.
it was about having dreams that were limitless. you’re still at ground zero. if i wanted to be a penguin zookeeper, i still could be. if i wanted to be an animator for the disney channel, i still could be. if i wanted to be a writer, i still could be. the possibilities felt endless then and they seemed so within reach and possible.
lastly, it was about simple love. about thinking that boy and girl love was icky. but still loving disney fairytale love. it was the simple fact that love was just love. that if i liked a person then that person must surely like me back and then we could have a lot of fun together playing make-believe. that everyone out there was there to be friends with me. that i could go across the street in my neighbourhood and we could share her treehouse and trampoline till the sun came down and then i’d go back home and have an awesome dinner cooked with love by my parents.
till next time,
cumuloq ❤